How to assist your child to attend therapy

Going to therapy is hard enough for adults. Stigma stops many of us from picking up the phone and making an appointment. Plus, therapy is hard work. It often requires revealing our vulnerabilities, delving into difficult challenges, changing unhealthy patterns of behaviour and learning new skills.

So it’s not surprising that children might not want to go either. This resistance only escalates when they misunderstand how therapy works. 

 A common mistake parents make when trying to get their children to attend is not telling them they’re going to therapy in the first place. I have had many parents tell the child on the drive to their first session. This leaves no time for the child to express themselves, ask questions, express concerns or even ask for reassurance and a hug.

 Another big mistake is shaming or blaming the child’s symptoms. Be honest about why you want your child to attend therapy. Talk to your child about therapy being helpful and why you want them to go, regardless of their age. 

 Many parents choose not to get involved in their child’s therapy. This hinders progress, and prevents children  from learning to work with their parents — their “primary support person”. 

 Prepare your child for therapy. Explain what the process is like, whether this be verbally or through a social story. Be supportive and allow them to ask any questions they may have. 

 Reflect their feelings around attending therapy for the first time. By naming their feelings it shows them that you understand what they are going through. When children feel their experience is understood, they are able to process their emotions and move on faster.

 Normalise it. Children embrace therapy much faster when parents let therapy be a normal and not secretive or shameful experience. Examples you may say include, "It sounds like you feel nervous about attending therapy for the first time. I feel nervous when I meet new people too. I'm here with you”.

Danielle x